I'm sitting alone with my tears, holding inside all my anger and fears.
It's hard to make everyone understand; this is a disease I have, and now it has the upper hand.
I need people to stand by me but not too close; I need support but not an overdose.
Black and white thinking, no shades of gray. I hate you, don't leave me, don't go, please stay.
I'm fun-loving, cheerful, and take charge of the room; when I'm alone, I'm filled with such
gloom.
I'm always witty, with a lot of things to say; I'm not that person alone in my room, it's like night
and day.
I'm getting help one day at a time. You have strength, a strong woman; you will finish this trial no
matter the length, no matter the time.
More about The Poem...
This poem poignantly describes the emotional struggle and inner conflict faced by someone living with a mental health disorder. It highlights the dichotomy between the speaker’s outward persona and their inner turmoil, as well as their need for understanding and balanced support from others.
"I'm sitting alone with my tears, holding inside all my anger and fears." This opening line sets a tone of solitude and emotional distress, emphasizing the speaker's internalized pain and struggle.
"It's hard to make everyone understand; this is a disease I have, and now it has the upper hand." The speaker acknowledges the challenge of making others understand their condition, highlighting the feeling of being overpowered by their disease.
"I need people to stand by me but not too close; I need support but not an overdose." This line conveys the delicate balance the speaker needs in terms of support—needing people around but not feeling overwhelmed by them.
"Black and white thinking, no shades of gray. I hate you, don't leave me, don't go, please stay." The speaker illustrates the emotional extremes and instability typical of borderline personality disorder, showing the intense fluctuations in their feelings towards others.
"I'm fun-loving, cheerful, and take charge of the room; when I'm alone, I'm filled with such gloom." This contrast highlights the discrepancy between the speaker’s public image and their private suffering, revealing the hidden side of their emotional experience.
"I'm always witty, with a lot of things to say; I'm not that person alone in my room, it's like night and day." The speaker emphasizes the stark difference between their outwardly vibrant personality and their inner despondence, illustrating the duality of their existence.
"I'm getting help one day at a time. You have strength, a strong woman; you will finish this trial no matter the length, no matter the time." The closing lines shift to a tone of hope and self-encouragement, emphasizing the speaker’s determination to overcome their struggles with the help of therapy and their inner strength.
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