Borderline personality disorder, I wish there were a cure.
I'd be the first one in line, that is for sure.
I hate you, don't leave, me don't go, please stay. Black and white thinking but no Shades of Gray.
Thoughts of the past crush me everyday, please someone help me, why am I this way?
Shouldn't I be better?
Learned to deal with it by now?
I don't want to be like this, someone please show me how.
How do I stop being angry at loved ones who did nothing wrong?
All these intense emotions, I wish they were gone.
I want to be normal, I forget how that feels,
To get rid of these emotions and stop wanting to run,
Step out of this storm and into the sun.
More about The Poem...
This poem offers a poignant and deeply personal glimpse into the struggles faced by someone living with borderline personality disorder (BPD). It captures the intensity and turmoil of their emotional experience, characterized by a yearning for a cure and a sense of desperation for relief from their condition.
The poem opens with a wish for a cure for BPD, highlighting the speaker's readiness to embrace any solution that could alleviate their suffering. This desire underscores the depth of their distress and longing for normalcy.
Emotional Instability:
The lines "I hate you, don't leave, me don't go, please stay" vividly depict the intense and contradictory emotions typical of BPD, where fear of abandonment and a need for closeness coexist in a turbulent dance. This demonstrates the characteristic black-and-white thinking and lack of emotional middle ground.
Painful Reflection:
"Thoughts of the past crush me everyday, please someone help me, why am I this way?" conveys a profound sense of being haunted by past experiences, a common struggle for individuals with BPD. It emphasizes the speaker's plea for understanding and support.
Self-Expectation and Frustration:
The lines "Shouldn't I be better? Learned to deal with it by now?" reflect the speaker's self-criticism and frustration over their perceived lack of progress, despite efforts to manage their condition. This speaks to the internalized pressure and disappointment often felt by those with BPD.
Strained Relationships:
"How do I stop being angry at loved ones who did nothing wrong?" highlights the impact of BPD on relationships, where intense emotions can lead to conflicts and feelings of guilt over mistreating loved ones.
Yearning for Emotional Peace:
The repeated expression of wishing for intense emotions to be gone and the desire to "step out of this storm and into the sun" metaphorically represents the speaker's deep longing for emotional stability and peace. This imagery conveys a powerful hope for transformation and relief from the emotional chaos.
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